Ira Glass and This American Life has been nudging at the periphery of my cultural conscious for a little while now: appearing amongst the Facebook feed, being referred to in the papers and talked about on the radio. Then being placed on my “I must discover what that’s about list”.
Finally, in my quest to find a few masterclass videos, I watched this…. Ira on creativity. Seriously a valuable two minutes if you have a creative pursuit or know someone who does
I watched, I sighed, and watched it again and again. Ate my breakfast with my children, and watched it again.
This place that Ira is describing… THE GAP that is where I am currently in my creative process….
I love what I do, and I love that others love what I do but I am going to get a tad confessional here when I tell you I feel like a fraud.
At the moment the work I produce is nothing, nothing at all like what I want to make. It frustrates me constantly, as I am only vaguely aware of what I do want to produce. I just know that this isn’t it. If this was it…. well not to be nasty, but that’s simply depressing, so it can not be.
People compliment me, or compliment the pieces… (thank you) and the buy them ( HUGE THANK YOU). I am not putting those people down at all. I am not putting the work down. In my more confident moments I think if the work is this strong on the journey I am excited by what it will become. The work definitely has elements of what I want to make. It percolates with good ideas, but is still a shadow of what I will produce when all the necessary elements have come together.
I am going to save this video and watch it any time the frustration becomes inebriating or becomes depressing… I’m going to watch Ira and listen to him tell me I am normal. Because I feel the road I am on is long and the culmination barely a glimmer on the horizon. It isn’t a conviction, rather a suspicion that if I doggedly persist I will get there.
So I make this contract to you the reader… to the world…. to me. To my four year old self who first wanted this life: I will not quit, I will get there and I am so flattered to everyone who is joining me on this road to, I dunno, a hinted at culmination.
Then you can say, “hey I knew her when she was in the GAP”.
“The GAP?”, They’ll ask to which you’ll respond.
“OMG have you not heard of Ira Glass? Where have you been?!”