I am back
I don’t know how long it has been since my last blog….eons I think. I just kind of abandoned this place and truth be told I am still to scared to read over old posts. It has fragments of my old life…..of a now two year gone marriage….of depression….of little photo tours of a small hamlet town I have since left….of drawings almost forgotten. It is packed tight with bitter sweet that I can’t yet peak at….
But I am back. Here to make words again…. I think.
I stayed active online via Twitter and built a small following and a small but tickety boo art business that is cobbled together on the scraps of make do. I need to do professional things like make catalogs and have exhibitions, but I don’t. I just draw.
It has been a tough but fruitful two years. I have been learning to live with a RapidCyclingBiPolarTypeOne diagnosis (if I say it really fast maybe it is easier) and there is a lot of learning still to be done there.I have been learning to be the single parent of three young boys and wow that is a whole ‘nother level of tough….especially when layered upon a, I suppose, rather severe mental illness that continued to hospitalise me and zap my energy. In a nutshell bipolar is like swinging between Eeyore and Tigger every six weeks or so. and parenting through that is a certain stoic madness.
My life got completely upturned and took on an oddly exhilarating and challenging shape as I began to work again in the construction industry with my Dad, this time as a scaffolder. I moved my kids to the the town where they went to school. This is where I live when I have custody of them then I drive 2 hours to the city to work as a construction worker every second week…. this lifestyle could never have been imagined by the woman who started this blog- so I stopped writing. I was in shock.
I was scared. I didn’t know how to safely unpack a failed marriage and the ongoing divorce here and I was learning that unmedicated me couldn’t trust her judgement. I didn’t want the raging torrent of anger that can spill forth in the low ebbs to to be fleshed out here. Though it felt fine to spew it on paper or in bursts at twitter.
But I am back….beginning to feel grounded in my new life. Beginning to understand it. Medicated and feeling a little in control of my mental illness and ready to post pictures and build a website and all that professional stuff and it might as well beging with a return to blogging
And a return to showing art in the cobbled fashion I have….tomorrow….or later